the center of your miiiinnnndddddd

Compromise in all things. That's one of my many false mottoes, one that surely could alleviate so much civic rancor in America if implemented in force today. I speak of moderation, something I've rarely advocated before. But this nation, by the intractibility of its polarized political camps, faces a threat to its unity unseen since the Whiskey Rebellion or the Bay of Teapot-Domed Pigstamp Acts of ' 77 (the century escapes me). Only a groundswell resergence of good archaic Moderate Centrism can save our fragile union.

But being an inveterate radical firebrand, like you I suspect, I cannot let go of my need to rabble-rouse loudly in the streets and gutters. Thus I present

Moderate Centrist Protest Slogans

"Less war!"
"Limited self-government for Tibet!"
"Less blood for more oil!"
"Scale back the Occupation(s)!"
"Retry Mumia on a lesser charge--say, second-degree murder--NOW!"
"What do we want? Border skirmishes and saber-rattling at the most! When do we want it? Sooner or later!"
"Meat is, at best, involuntary manslaughter!"
"Special rights for sodomites? No! Decriminalized bisexual polygamy? Maybe!"
"Revolution, though not the sole solution, is the one I advocate stridently, yet respectfully!"
"Ban the bomb from certain nightclubs and local-access cable stations!"
"It's either a choice or a child!"
"Get mostly behind at least a few of our troops!"
"Yankee, go at least as far as the International Date Line!"
"Jesus mitigates."