Purple Pressed Ass

A seldom-sober pseudonym takes on the totality.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

The Phenomenon That Dare Not Let Me Invent Its Name

I've lately noticed a fascinatingly irritating phenomenon involving Blogger: the fuckillions of blogs trying, invariably ineptly, to use their sites as marketing tools. Hit the little "next blog" feature up there, and you'll likely be swept to some grand site such as this (coffee flavored free Resources!), this (urgently looking for the most recent bulletins on Franz 90th Anniversary Basketball Cards?) and my favorite so far, Jesus in Lingeries (sic). Attempt to resist this, O potential consumer:

Keen on Black Pantyhose Gallery? One of the internets greatest advantages is that you can quickly and comfortably source whatever youre looking for. Before the advent of the web how easy was it to discover the Black Pantyhose Gallery info you needed right in front of you?

Not at all easy, Jesus, I must confess.

Okay, I can dig more or less what's behind this: automated blog-generators whose purpose is to increase the number of links to a commercial site in the hopes of manipulating search engines--much the same reasoning as comment spam. But the ineptitude of the final product makes Nigerian scam spammers seem like magnates of industry. And what to call these things? I just tested "next blog" again and found that four-fifths of the blogs were this sort of hokum. Something so widespread must have a name, or very badly needs one. "Splagm" seems perfect, being a portmanteau of "spam" and "blog" as well as being appropriately disgusting sounding. But how to pronounce that? Anyone (besides "Brokeman" and his broke ilk) care to chime in?

5 Comments:

  • At 12:26 PM, Blogger Deric said…

    well, there's the obvious "blam"... "spog" is another good one...

     
  • At 7:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    My suggestion: splog, it's got that odious squishiness necessary to describe the phenomenon methinks. However, I did as you suggested and followed the next blog links and found four out of five "real" blogs, including one in portugese that claimed that Johnny Cochrin (cockring) had died.

     
  • At 7:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    "Observing the great success that many companies are having on the Internet Boys In Underwear Gallery enterprises grow with electronic commerce innovations"...Ahhh, too true!

     
  • At 8:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    "splog" takes it, thus far, methinks.

     
  • At 9:24 AM, Blogger Deric said…

    i respectfully retract my previous suggestions in deference to "splog".

    yes, johnny has passed on... maybe some herr doktor seuss prodigy should deliver his eulogy...

     

Post a Comment

<< Home